GAP Z: a family of celebration.

Zealous. Joyful. Worthy. Radiant. Kind-hearted. Overflowing with His light. 

Say a big hello to Z Squad — the incredible young men and women i’ve been given the opportunity to serve alongside and lead this year.

Team Jaimasi, 1 of the 4 teams within our squad, is the team I have the pleasure of walking with more intimately. These women, Angela, Maddy, Kinzie, Gemma, Emily, Cassi, & Kendel make up this team so sweetly. They fight for one another and stand firm in the Lord. They are kind with their words and are growing in love beautifully. I can’t wait to see the Lord move in their hearts. 

I’m not alone in leadership, I‘m apart of an incredible team of wise souls with hearts after the Lord that push me into new growth. I have the pleasure of Kacie Tillman being my mentor once again, (2nd from the left) & am serving alongside Jordan Kouri, Sydney Freed, and Hannah Bolitho!! 

Training Camp is a time of worship, community, learning, asking hard questions, honesty, joyfulness, and everything in between. It’s here where we met Gap Z, & boy are they a joy. 

Each day the Father showed me what it meant for His love to sustain me. Each day He held my hand as I took off my chains of fear and unworthiness. He sat with me in the stillness and jumped with me in the joy. Moment after moment I was blown away with how quickly I saw His hand at work. When I tell you I was rooted in His truth, I mean it. I have never felt more rooted in the Father than these last few weeks. 

In the first 2 days, I let anxiety control my thoughts. I knew I was feeling anxious, and I chose to sit in it. I didn’t run to the Father’s arms. On the 2nd night of feeling anxious, I saw an image of myself. I was at the bottom of a waterless well, screaming and crying for help, scratching the walls in hopes for something to cling to. 

This woke me up. 

I needed to run to the Father; I needed prayer. I turned to a woman on our leadership team, Whitney, & poured out my heart to her. I asked for prayer and boy did she bring it. We cried together as she cried out to the Father. 

“Bernadette, you don’t need to seek something out to cling to. The Father’s arms are always around you.” 

& now THIS woke me up! 

I sat with the Father and praised Him for His faithfulness. The next morning as I sat in a session, He simply said “your yes for this squad is unwavering.” From this moment forward, I was over the moon joyful about these racers, my leadership team, and all the Father had in store for our time together. (Isn’t His timing incredible when we delight in Him?)

Each morning began with a cup of coffee and time with the Lord. I’d roll out of my hammock (no, I didn’t pee my pants this time!) to a foggy morning thanks to the rain and clouds. Building friendships & growing in my willingness to say hard things made some days feel long, but absolutely worth it. Nights filled with the sounds of praise and aroma of Christ raised my excitement for the next day to begin.

As I enter into these next few weeks of time before launch, I’m excited to challenge myself. I’m excited to spend time with the Father each morning. I’m excited to ride my bike. I’m excited to sit and be with some of my favorite people. I’m excited to learn more about the Father that I haven’t known before. I’m excited to be still. I’m excited to be the love and light of the Lord with everything I am. 

When it comes to funding, we are HALF WAY THERE! There’s only $1,500 left to raise for these next months of team leading, would you join my team & financially support this next step in the journey? The orange ‘donate’ button is at the top of my blog, OR you could snag one of these tees!!!!“Bind my wandering heart to Thee” has been the theme of my last few months, and the Lord has declared this theme will continue over the next months as well. In creating this, I was inspired by Michelangelo’s ‘Adam’, one of my favorite pieces. Click this link to purchase if you’re interested! 

https://forms.gle/y9r1bFkfLqJSeh8X9

Thank you for being with me along each step of the way; I can’t believe the steps the Lord has walked with me.

For the sake of tradition…

Here’s what I’ve been listening to! 🙂

“Don’t Wanna Be Without Ya” by Penny and Sparrow

“Torches” by the Oh Hello’s

the entire new Johnnyswim album. end of story, my all time faves. 

—x, Bern