Home Minus 2

In a few short days, I’ll be back in Fairfield Ohio, the place I call home.
Over the 9 months of this crazy adventure, two very important family members left this earth. I realized tonight I never took true enough time to mourn them. These next words are a mash of the thoughts that come to my brain. Nothing polished, nothing put together.

Back in October, my sweet pup Button had to be put down. She was my mum and I’s first dog, and boy was she the best. She was always so full of joy, never caused trouble, and loved to walk anywhere you’d take her. She let me dress her up in just about anything I could find, which sometimes was American Girl doll clothes. Her love for snow was full of joy greater than words could say—oh how she adored to jump in it! She was very old and getting to the point where it was difficult for her to move, but her death was still difficult for me to process. I know now that it is better as she’s not in pain anymore. As I’m looking back now at photos, it’s hitting me how great of a role she played in my life.

In December, I received a phone call that my Great Uncle Ed had passed away from a heart attack. This broke me as it was completely unexpected. It was the night before a travel day, in which my response was to shove my feelings down far enough to where I couldn’t reach them. Uncle Ed is the first person truly close to me I’ve had pass away. He never failed to make those around him laugh, gave some hilariously amazing hugs, and is one of the best artists I’ve ever known. Uncle Ed knew how to grow lush gardens and have a HECK of a lot of fun while doing it. I’ll never forget the garden he helped me plant in his back yard when I was younger. His creek swing was always an open place from when I was just in elementary to a senior in high school. I love that swing, and hearing all of his crazy stories while swinging on it. My Uncle Ed is my Papa’s brother, and these two are such a hoot together. They and their wives (my Mama and Aunt Rosalee) play cards together at my grandparent’s house every Friday night. I wish you could all be a fly on the wall when these nights took place, talk about a hoot! Uncle Ed had the longest and most detailed jokes you would ever hear. They were hard to follow, and always had the worst punchlines. Gosh he loved to tell them. Every Christmas, Uncle Ed would give me a new Christmas ornament. It was always a small one that I could put on the tree in my room, and always super random. There was never one of the same in all the years he gave me one. Uncle Ed holds a special place in the heart of my family.

It’s difficult for me to think of coming home when two of my people (well, one person, one dog) won’t be there when I return. I know the Lord’s plan is greater than any fear or sadness I have in this, but I also know He gave me these feelings for a reason. I’m very thankful He brought this to my mind again before stepping back into Cincy.

The Lord is a Father who cares, He doesn’t throw things at us and hope we catch them. He’s right there with us in the trenches and right there with us on the mountain tops. I’ve known this my entire life, but it becomes more and more evident every day. He’s is good as is His plan. His hand is working in a picture I can’t fully see, and right now, I’m totally okay with that.