Discovering How my Heart Breaks

Some of my squad mates and I recently went on a little road trip. From Gainesville Georgia we drove to New Orleans Louisiana, and then to Houston Texas. Having this time with these people I call my family was restful, invigorating, and full of beauty. On our first night in New Orleans, we stayed at Abby Moore’s house, a girl on my squad. After settling in, she explained to us that she has a family friend that she’d love for us to pray for. His name is Rye Haller. He’s 11 years old and has been in a coma for over a month. His father found him in his room unconscious, proceeded to call 911, and found out Rye had been without oxygen for about 40 minutes. His chances for survival were slim, but not in the eyes of our Father. 

Abby asked us if we were willing to drive over to the Haller’s apartment to pray over Rye. Without hesitation, we jumped in the car and couldn’t wait to pray over Rye and his family. After getting turned around a few times on the crazy New Orleans high way, we arrived later than we expected. Rye’s cousin came down and greeted us and asked that we pray for Rye in the courtyard to not disrupt his room. I felt a little discouraged since I was looking forward to being in the room with him, but I also knew a brick wall can’t stop our God. 

We gathered in the courtyard and began to cry out to the Lord. We prayed bold prayers of healing and even bolder prayers that God’s will would ultimately be done. After about 20 minutes of crying out to Him, Rye’s mum Julie came down and invited us up into the apartment. My heart jumped at the opportunity, but also at the fact that Julie seemed so joyful. 

Her son was in a coma… and she was joyful?

We walked up a few flights of steps into a massive apartment with some of the tallest ceilings I’ve ever seen. Rye laid in his hospital bed hooked up to just about every tube you could think of. He was surrounded by stuffed animals, machines, blankets, and the Holy Spirit. Though the room was huge, the presence of the Lord filled every bit of it. Julie laid down next to her son, holding his hand and combing through his hair with tender fingers. We circled around the boy and raised our voices to our Father. We prayed for his body. For his heart. For his brain. For his family. For his doctors. For the Lord’s will to be done. We sang. We danced. We cried. We held hands. 

We made a joyful noise because no matter what, God is good. Always. 

My heart was melted in the hands of the Father. He molded it and broke it for Julie. She sang songs of praise, she worshipped the Lord through each moment, she even led us in worship as she laid with her son. She prayed the bold prayer that the Lord’s will would be done. She prayed that lives would be changed because of Rye’s testimony. She knew her son may be taken up to be with the Lord at any moment, but she knew he’d be up in Heaven dancing with God Himself. She laid her son in the hands of the Father and prayed “Thy will be done.” 

My heart broke even more when the Lord whispered to me “this is the mother’s heart.” I began to sob uncontrollably and praise the Lord in song and words. As I knelt to my knees I’m awe of His vastness, He whispered something else. 

“I’ve placed this heart in you. You carry the mother’s heart.”

At this point, I felt uncontrollably lost in His love. I was crying more than I have in a long time, and I loved it. He took my hand and walked me back to when I was living my life with an auto-immune disease called Juvenile Dermatomyositis. This affected my life in wild ways, and it also affected the lives around me. My mum fought day and night for me in prayer. She stuck by my side, ensured I had my medicine, and loved me through and through. She has the mother’s heart and carries it with the weight it deserves. She is a beautiful example of His heart every day. 

After a solid 2 hours of worship and prayer, we each hugged Julie and thanked her for letting us into her space and leading us as the woman of the Lord that she is. This night changed the way I see the Father and gave me beautiful insight into His heart. It reminded me how blessed I am with the Mother He’s placed to lead me. As I spend time with Him, I wonder what it really means to carry the heart of a mother and ask Him question after question. He is faithful in His love.

If you’d like updates on Rye and how he’s doing, there’s a page on Facebook called “Pray for Rye Guy.” Julie is consistent with posting about Rye as well as what the Lord is doing in her life. There’s also a link on their page if you feel led to donate to the Hallers, we all know how expensive medical bills can get. 

I’d love to hear about moments when the Lord changed the posture of your heart, feel free to comment these stories below!

Here’s what I’ve been jamming to!

“The Wick” by Housefires 

“23” by Redrocks Worship

“Prince of Peace — Live” by Hillsong United