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I’ve tried to write this blog multiple times now. I keep trying to think of a blog that sums up my race in its entirety, but I’ve come to realize that isn’t possible.

9 months ago, I started a journey with about 35 other young adults all seeking the same thing: the Father and serving Him. Along the way, we received a lot more. We were able to learn about cultures, open the doors to conversations without ever speaking, glean from our squad leaders and hosts every day, cry and hug each other when emotions crash, and worship the Father in ways we never knew possible. As the race came to an end, I reflected and asked the Lord for a word to describe each month.
Romania, month one, sewing seeds.
Ukraine, month two, abundance.
Chile, month three, difficult growth.
Chile, month four, maturity.
Peru, month five, pressing into my true identity.
Peru, month six, trust and acceptance.
India, month seven, fruitful.
India, month eight, step by step.
Nepal, month nine, refreshed light.

9 months—a lot happens in this time.

We can all agree on that, we’ve all just lived it.

My excitement to see each and every one of you is crazy high, I can’t even describe it to you in words. To think of hugging you, hearing your voice without the phone call buffering, sharing a meal together once again… whew. That’s something that brings me to tears.

I crave to share every detail with you from every moment on this journey as it’s been a time I’ll never forget. I want to show you the photos I’ve taken of my favorite people, the thank-you cards children gave me after being their teacher, and the scars I’ve gotten in these past 9 months.

But the truth is, this isn’t realistic. It would take days for me to go through each detail of my time, and right now that sounds like the most daunting task ever. I want to hear about your lives as well. How your first year of college went, the changes in your job, your favorite memories in general. This is another thing that sounds terribly daunting.

Sharing my story and hearing each of yours is something I know I have been looking forward to; I can’t wait to see and hear how the Lord has worked in you and can’t wait to share how He’s worked in me.

I know the day will come when I’m ready to share my experiences and moments, but I also know the moment I get home isn’t this time. It’s overwhelming to think about stepping back into a life of endless flavors of ice cream, but America is my mission field now. Having a change in perspective of what the mission field truly is has changed my way of living. We as Christians are called to make disciples of all nations, why are we avoiding our own?

Taking the step of re-entering isn’t going to be an easy one, but I know I’m walking into a family that loves me and knows me well. Thank you for following this journey I’ve been on… it’s wild to think it went so quickly. But praise the Lord, the Father is far from finished working. A new journey starts now, and I can’t wait to walk with each of you in it.

I’ll see you tomorrow, Cincy…and i can’t stinkin wait.

Here’s what I’ve been listening to!
“Lovers Carvings” by Bibio
“Alive” by Graeme James
“Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus

8 responses to “this end is not the end.”

  1. We can’t wait to see your pictures and hear about your exciting experiences. You must be excited to be able to share these things with all of us. But——Papa, Doug and I can’t wait to see your smiling face and be able to give you a BIG Hug and Lots and Lots of Kisses!!!!!! See you tomorrow!!!!!!!!!

  2. I cant wait to see you and hear about what you’ve experienced and how youve grown over these last nine months!

    Love you!
    Emily

  3. Party in the USA cracked me up!! 🙂 You are such a sweet person – thank you for serving our Lord and sharing your journey with us!!! It has been amazing to hear. Your anxiety about re-entry is completely understandable but just know everyone loves you and we’re all here for you. And God is holding your hand. Take your time, relax, breathe…. it’ll be awesome seeing your family, loved ones, and friends! Safe travels home!!! Hugs and prayers for you!!

  4. Love your comments about our mission field in our own great country!
    When our church took on a mission project in Colombia last December some people asked why there when there is so much to do right here!?
    The answer was……..when we cross the border it makes us better at home! Your journey has opened your eyes to many things that I only read about. Thanks for all you have shared!! Now take your time adjusting to life in Cinci!! Looking forward to seeing you in August! Safe travels.
    Love you bunches and here’s a BIG HUG!!

  5. Bernadette, I so enjoyed reading your blog! There’s no way to condense a lifetime of experiences that were squeezed into 9 months. As a parent of a racer I will tell you I had no idea I was going on the race, no idea!! But on the race I went. These last 9 months I’ve learned many things. I’ve become much more dependent on God, I discovered I hadn’t really trusted Him before (and He is trustworthy) and I took great comfort from a group of parents gathered to pray lead by your Mom and others. I’m so grateful that you got to grow this incredible faith at your young age to start you off on good footing and carry you through your whole life! You have a relationship with God that I’m just starting to understand at 56! Thank you for raising your hand to God and saying “here I am, send me”. Thank you for sharing what’s in your heart. God bless you!

  6. Welcome back. From one journey to the next you will do fine. Your trust and belief in Our Lord will be your strength. Safe travels. Your family is excited to hear even more about your ministry.

  7. Hi sweet, Bernadette!! I’m just now catching up on blogs post wedding. You’ve been home for a couple of weeks now. I pray for ongoing conversations which encourage your heart, for memories to unfold naturally over time, for quiet moments alone with Your Savior as you go deeper with Him in America. I pray for grace and laughter and tears when necessary but then for comforting arms around you. Much love.

  8. Sweetie, it’s been awesome having you back!! I love hugging you… I love your hugs… I love kissing your sweet face… I love hearing your voice… I love your heart… I love having you present… I love hearing and seeing what God has done and is doing in you and through you… I LOVE YOU!

    And I’m looking forward to some summer fun with you as well as continuing the journey that the Lord lays out before you and before me.

    Love you so so so very much!!! I’ve missed your hugs, your sweet face, and your joyful voice!

    Yay me, you’re back… even if for a moment!
    xoxoxox